Ramana Maharshi - Isn’t Brahmacharya (celibacy) necessary for Realisation of Self

Question : I believe celibacy is necessary even for a householder if he is to succeed in Self-enquiry. Am I right?
Ramana Maharshi : First find out who the wife and husband are. Then the question will not arise.
Question : Isn’t Brahmacharya (celibacy) necessary for realisation of the Self?
Ramana Maharshi : Brahmacharya means ‘living in Brahman’; it has no connection with celibacy as commonly understood. A real Brahmachari is one who lives in Brahman and finds bliss in Brahman, which is the same as the Self. Why, then, should he look for other sources of happiness? In fact, it is emergence from the Self that is the cause of all misery.

Question : But isn’t celibacy necessary for yoga?
Ramana Maharshi : It is one aid to realisation among many others.

Question : Then is it not indispensable? Can a married man realise the Self?
Ramana Maharshi : Certainly. It is a question of fitness of mind. Married or unmarried, a man can realise the Self, because the Self is here and now. If it were not, but were obtainable by some effort at some future time, if it were something new to be acquired, it would not be worth seeking, because what is not natural cannot be permanent. What I say is that the Self is here and now and that IT alone is.

Ramana Maharshi -There is more pleasure in Meditation than in Sensual Enjoyment

Question : There is more pleasure in meditation than in sensual enjoyment and yet the mind seeks the latter and not the former. Why is that?

Ramana Maharshi - Pleasure and pain are only aspects of the mind. Our essential nature is happiness, but we have forgotten the Self and imagine that the body or the mind is the Self. It is this wrong identification that gives rise to misery. What is to be done?

This tendency is very deep-rooted and has continued for many past births and so has grown strong. It will have to go before the essential nature, which is happiness, can be realised. And above all, not to create new vasanas or latent tendencies.

Ramana Maharshi : How to attain control over my thoughts and desires

Question : What should I do to overcome the pull of these thoughts and desires? How should I regulate my life so as to attain control over my thoughts?
Ramana Maharshi : The more you get fixed in the Self the more other thoughts will drop off of themselves. The mind is nothing but a bundle of thoughts, and the `I'-thought is the root of all of them. When you see who this `I' is and find out where it comes from all thoughts get merged in the Self. Regulation of life, such as getting up at a fixed hour, bathing, doing mantra, japa, observing ritual, all this is for people who do not feel drawn to self-enquiry or are not capable of it. But for those who can practise this method all rules and discipline are unnecessary.

Ramana Maharshi - Should we Suppress or Satisfy the Desires and Vasanas

Question : What is the best way of dealing with desires and vasanas with a view to getting rid of them - satisfying them or suppressing them?
Ramana Maharshi : If a desire can be got rid of by satisfying it, there will be no harm in satisfying such a desire. But desires generally are not eradicated by satisfaction. Trying to root them out that way is like trying to quench a fire by pouring inflammable spirits on it. At the same time, the proper remedy is not forcible suppression, since such repression is bound to react sooner or later into a forceful surging up of desires with undesirable consequences.

The proper way to get rid of a desire is to find out `Who gets the desire? What is its source?' When this is found, the desire is rooted out and it will never again emerge or grow. Small desires such as the desire to eat, drink, sleep and attend to calls of nature, though these may also be classed among desires, you can safely satisfy.

They will not implant vasanas in your mind, necessitating further birth. Those activities are just necessary to carry on life and are not likely to develop or leave behind vasanas or tendencies. As a general rule, therefore, there is no harm in satisfying a desire where the satisfaction will not lead to further desires by creating vasanas in the mind.

Ramana Maharshi teachings on overcoming Passions

Ramana Maharshi teachings on overcoming Passions

Question - How shall I overcome my passions?
Ramana Maharshi - Find their root and then it will be easy. (Later) What are the passions? Kama (lust), krodha (anger), etc. Why do they arise? Because of likes and dislikes towards the objects seen. How do the objects project themselves in your view? Because of your avidya, i.e., ignorance. Ignorance of what? Of the Self. Thus, if you find the Self and abide therein there will be no trouble owing to the passions.

(Later) Again, what is the cause of the passions? Desire to be happy or enjoy pleasure. Why does the desire for happiness arise? Because your nature is happiness itself and it is natural that you come into your own. This happiness is not found anywhere besides the Self.

Do not look for it elsewhere. But seek the Self and abide therein. Still again, that happiness which is natural is simply re-discovered, so it cannot be lost. Whereas the happiness arising from other objects are external and thus liable to be lost. Therefore it cannot be permanent and so it is not worth seeking. Moreover craving for pleasures should not be encouraged.

One cannot put out burning fire by pouring petrol over it. An attempt to satisfy your craving for the time being, so that the passion may later be suppressed, is simply foolish.There are, no doubt, other methods for the suppression of passion. They are (1) regulated food, (2) fasting, (3) yoga practice, (4) medicines. But their effects are transitory. The passions reappear with greater force as soon as the check is removed. The only way to overcome them is to eradicate them. That is done by finding their source as stated above.

Sri Ramana Maharshi on restraining the desires

Sri Ramana Maharshi on restraining the desires

In further conversation, the following points were noteworthy - The visitor said: “One must become satiate with the fulfilment of desires before they are renounced.” Sri Bhagavan smiled and cut in: “Fire might as well be put out by pouring spirit over the flames. (All laugh). The more the desires are fulfilled, the deeper grows the samskara. They must become weaker before they cease to assert themselves. That weakness is brought about by restraining oneself and not by losing oneself in desires.

Question : How can they be rendered weaker?
Sri Ramana Maharshi : By knowledge. You know that you are not the mind. The desires are in the mind. Such knowledge helps one to control them.

Question : But they are not controlled in our practical lives.
Sri Ramana Maharshi : Every time you attempt satisfaction of a desire the knowledge comes that it is better to desist. Repeated reminders of this kind will in due course weaken the desires. What is your true nature? How can you ever forget it? Waking, dream and sleep are mere
phases of the mind. They are not of the Self. You are the witness of these states. Your true nature is found in sleep.

Question : But we are advised not to fall into sleep during meditation.
Sri Ramana Maharshi : That is stupor you must guard against. That sleep which alternates with waking is not true sleep. That waking which alternates with sleep is not true waking. Are you now awake? You are not. You are required to wake up to your real state. You should not fall into false sleep nor keep falsely awake.

Hence: Laye sambodhayeccittam vikshiptam samayet punah.
What does it mean? It means that you should not fall into any one of these states but remain amidst them in your true unsullied nature.

Question : The states are of our mind only.
Sri Ramana Maharshi : Whose mind? Hold it and see.

Question : The mind cannot be held. It is that which creates all these. It is known only by its effects and not in its true nature.
Sri Ramana Maharshi : Quite so. You see the colours of the spectrum. Together they form the white light. But seven colours are seen through the prism. Similarly, the one Self resolves itself into so many phases, mind, world, body, etc. The Self is seen as the mind, the body or the
world. That is to say, it becomes whatever you perceive it to be.

Question : These are difficult to follow in practice. I will hold on to God and surrender.
Sri Ramana Maharshi : That is the best.

Question : How can I do my duties without attachment? There is my wife, there are my children. I must do my duty towards them. Affection is necessary. Am I right?
Sri Ramana Maharshi : How do you do your work in the College?

Question : (laughing) For wages.
Sri Ramana Maharshi : Not because you are attached, simply as doing your duty.

Question : But my pupils expect me to love them.
Sri Ramana Maharshi : “Detachment in the interior and attachment in appearance,” says
Yoga Vasishta.

Source: from Ramana Maharshi book "Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi v3"

Ramana Maharshi on overcoming Lust, Anger, Grief

Ramana Maharshi on overcoming Lust, Anger, Grief

Question : How is the mind to dive into the Heart?
Ramana Maharshi : The mind now sees itself diversified as the universe. If the diversity is not manifest it remains in its own essence, that is the Heart. Entering the Heart means remaining without distractions. The Heart is the only Reality. The mind is only a transient phase. To remain as one’s Self is to enter the Heart. Because a man identifies himself with the body he sees the world separate from him. This wrong identification arises because he has lost his
moorings and has swerved from his original state.

He is now advised to give up all these false ideas, to trace back his source and remain as the Self. In that state, there are no differences. No questions will arise. All the sastras are meant only to make the man retrace his steps to the original source. He need not gain anything new. He must only give up his false ideas and useless accretions. Instead of doing it he tries to catch hold of something strange and mysterious because he believes that his happiness lies elsewhere. That is the mistake.

If one remains as the Self there is bliss. Probably he thinks that being quiet does not bring about the state of bliss. That is due to his ignorance. The only practice is to find out “to whom these questions arise.”

Question : How to control lust, anger, etc.?
Ramana Maharshi : Whose are these passions? Find out. If you remain as the Self, there will be found to be nothing apart from the Self. Then there will be no need to control, etc.

Question : If a person whom we love dies, grief results. Shall we avoid such grief by either loving all alike or by not loving at all?
Ramana Maharshi : If one dies, it results in grief for the other who lives. The way to get rid of grief is not to live. Kill the one who grieves. Who will remain then to suffer? The ego must die. That is the only way. The two alternatives amount to the same state. When all have become the one Self, who is there to be loved or hated?

Ramana Maharshi on Sexuality, Sexual desires, Sexual Sin

Ramana Maharshi on Sexuality, Sexual desires, Sexual Sin

Question : Do you approve of sexual continence?
Ramana Maharshi : A true brahmachari [celibate] is one who dwells in Brahman. Then there is no question of desires any more.

Question : At Sri Aurobindo's ashram there is a rigid rule that married couples are permitted to live there on condition that they have no sexual intercourse.
Ramana Maharshi : What is the use of that ? If it exists in the mind, what use is it to force people to abstain ?

Question : Is marriage a bar to spiritual progress?
Ramana Maharshi : The householder's life is not a bar, but the householder must do his utmost to practise self-control. If a man has a strong desire for the higher life then the sex tendency will subside. When the mind is destroyed, the other desires are destroyed also.

Question : I have committed sexual sin.
Ramana Maharshi : Even if you have, it does not matter so long as you do not think afterwards that you have done so. The Self is not aware of any sin and renunciation of sex is internal, not merely of the body alone.

Question : I am carried away by the sight of the breasts of a young woman neighbor and I am often tempted to commit adultery with her. What should I do?
Ramana Maharshi : You are always pure. It is your senses and body which tempt you and which you confuse with your real Self. So first know who is tempted and who is there to tempt. But even if you do commit adultery, do not think about it afterwards, because you are yourself always pure. You are not the sinner.

Question : How do we root out our sex idea?
Ramana Maharshi : By rooting out the false idea of the body being the Self. There is no sex in the Self. Be the Self and then you will have no sex troubles.

Question : Can fasting cure sexual desire?
Ramana Maharshi : Yes, but it is temporary. Mental fast is the real aid. Fasting is not an end in itself. There must be spiritual development side by side. Complete fasting makes the mind too weak. The spiritual quest must be kept up right through a fast if it is to benefit spiritually.